So I really liked this girl I go to school with we went on a mission trip together and really got close. Afterwards is when I started too like her. She was just a beautiful person inside and out. I told her so one night while I was completely wasted and high. It wasn’t a shallow drunk text but something I had wanted to say for awhile but didn’t have the courage to say. She told me it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to her. Because I was drunk and high I decided I would ask her to homecoming. It was kind of early because it was mid August but the year before I was burned when I asked a girl the second week of school and she had already been asked. The girl, her names Nicole, told me she wasn’t saying no but that it was too early to say yes. So I decided to wait awhile. A week before school started there was a bowling night that a youth group was putting on and she was going. So seeing as other guys probably would end up asking her in the next few weeks I decided to ask her at the bowling night. I made sure she was going then bought the stuff I would give to her. I got her chocolate and a cute stuffed animal husky. The big night came and went. I was there until everyone left and she never showed. It was kind of depressing but I told myself I would ask her the next Sunday when I would see her. So school starts and the first week ends. I was hanging out at home checking twitter when I saw something that made my heart drop. A guy from another school had asked her to homecoming. I felt like someone had punched me in the heart. Seeing then smiling together with his arm around her shoulder. The whole time wondering if she remembered that night I asked her. So after several days of anger and depression I told myself maybe they are just going as friends. I hadn’t really texted her or talked to her in a few weeks so I texted her. I never brought up homecoming. I saw her in school a few times and whenever I did she got real excited to see me and said how she missed me. About two weeks later I saw her again.( The school we go to is big enough that you can go a whole year without seeing someone.) So another week goes by and I see her as I’m leaving school. We said hi and hugged and I gave her a hard time because she told me she would text me and she never did. So she said she was so so so so sorry and that she would text me tonight. I left school feeling pretty good about the whole situation. I knew she probably wouldn’t text me but that didn’t matter I was just glad to talk to her. Well here I am four hours later looking on Instagram and what do I see but another guy asking her to our schools homecoming and underneath it her reply. Yes!
….. In just one moment my mood went from happy to depressed. I have the seem feeling as if I had been punched in the heart. Some people might see this as a bit of an over reaction and maybe it is. But for the last four years every girl I liked and told them so has pretty much stabbed me in the heart. It honestly sucks. I’m not complaining that no one likes me. In fact recently some girls have liked me. But the fact is I don’t like them. I won’t date someone I don’t like I just do t work that way. So here I am again stuck at ground zero. What’s worse is that I still am hoping she texts me tonight . That’s why high school sucks. Even though several girls several times have burned me again and again. I still like them. I know this pain will fade. This memory will be lost. But I feel like I’m on a record playing over and over again. I just hope this song will end forever.